Putting the M(MA) into Mauerpark.


Any Second Sunday? Kimbo Slice may be one of the MMA luminaries soon plying his trade in Mauerpark.

Berlin, Germany.

Representatives from Pankow’s Tiefbauamt (Office of Public Works) have revealed that discussions are taking place between its Heads of Department and Mixed Martial Arts franchise Strike Force to fill some of the still vacant Sunday afternoon spots available for use of the Mauerpark’s amphitheatre.

Since early 2009, mild weather conditions had until now seen visitors assemble to take part in an informal Karaoke show there. But permits for these shows have been reformulated by the office in 2012, leaving room for what one department official described as “more variety in the Park’s Cultural Repertoire”.


MMA is famously egalitarian, and Strike Force promises the same age-, weight- and gender-diversity as Bearpit Karaoke.

With MMA’s popularity enjoying a worldwide surge in popularity over recent years, it’s understood that several governing bodies had recently contacted Pankow’s Tiefbauamt with a view to booking fight-time in what is referred to by locals as “Der Bearpit”.

Christian Tänzler, PR spokesman for the capital’s tourism marketing board visitberlin.de said “The Mauerpark’s amphitheater is a perfect platform for MMA fighters to showcase their skills. Its stage area is of perfect dimensions to accommodate a regulation-sized octagonal steel cage.

“Whether participants fire long jabs and roundhouse kicks from an upright position, or regard themselves more as Ground-and-Pound specialists, spectators are guaranteed a great view of all the action from the stone steps. I’m actually shocked that nobody came up with this idea sooner.”


The gradient of the steps offers every visiting Fight Fan a “Best Seat In The House” for watching people punch, kick or choke each other.

Recent talks with the organizers of the Karaoke Show had established glaring deficiencies in the event’s infrastructure. Not least the complete absence or seeming necessity of a Security Team. Strike Force spokesman and CEO Scott Coker, speaking about what his organization could bring to the table asserted that “Even a quick sideways glance at any of my fighters should leave no potential troublemaker in doubt as to the World Of Pain he would be entering were he to keep glancing sideways at any of my fighters. They are all, in effect, their own Security Team.”

Given that the amphitheater is a permanent physical fixture in the park, officials were unable to explain why the  non-Karaoke-related applications it had received for the amphitheater’s use had until now all been made for Sunday afternoons.

“The Karaoke is on a Sunday? Are you sure?“, replied an anonymous department employee in answer to the question. “Funny, we all thought it was Saturday. Oops!”